The Founding Charter of the 11th Province

Proclaimed by the Provisional Cabinet of Undecided Allegiances

A communication to the residents of the 11th Province.

To every resident, registered or merely suspected:

Welcome. You are receiving this because you live in the 11th Province, whether or not you knew you had moved here. Your membership was established the moment your relationship with the word “home” became a paragraph instead of a word. The paperwork, as always, is pending. Please read your Charter.

Article I. Jurisdiction

The 11th Province exists as a matter of civic necessity. When a neighbouring government proposes annexing a country of forty million people, the appropriate response is paperwork. We have filed paperwork.

Article II. Borders

The Province maintains no fixed borders, on the grounds that borders have caused enough trouble already. Its territory extends to wherever a Canadian is currently abroad and apologizing, and to any kitchen in which an American has quietly begun spelling it “neighbour.” Maps are not provided. You will know.

Article III. Official Languages

The official languages of the Province are English, French (in full and equal measure, as the law requires and the Province prefers), and the brief silence that follows someone saying “sorry” for a thing that was not their fault. A correctly placed “sorry” is recognized as a complete sentence, a greeting, and, where necessary, a legal defence.

Article IV. Residency

The Province welcomes Canadians abroad, Americans who came north and stayed, and anyone currently explaining to a customs officer why they hold two passports and one complicated relationship with the word “home.” You are home now. Sort of. Paperwork pending.

Article V. The Duties of Residents

Residents shall hold the door. Residents shall form a line without being asked, and shall not comment on those who cannot. Residents may complain about the weather at any length, but may not leave on account of it; this is the one position on which the Cabinet is immovable. In all moments of uncertainty, residents shall apologize first and determine fault later, if ever.

Article VI. The Cabinet

The Province is governed by the Provisional Cabinet of Undecided Allegiances, whose portfolios include the Ministry of Lingering Goodbyes, the Ministry of Apologetic Affairs, and the Department of Logistics and the Case of Twenty-Four. All seats are held by persons who have not yet decided where home is, which is considered the only honest qualification for the work.

Article VII. The Offer

The offer from Washington has been received, reviewed by Cabinet, and filed under Noted. Cabinet thanks Washington for its interest. Cabinet has no further comment at this time. Cabinet is very busy.

Given under the hand of the Provisional Cabinet of Undecided Allegiances, in the year of much paperwork, and entered into the permanent record, where it shall remain until amended by events.

The 11th Province. The paperwork has been filed.