U.S. 'Monitoring' Canada for Midterm Interference, Canadians Quietly Thrilled Someone Thinks They Could Pull It Off
The U.S. ambassador confirmed this week that Washington is "monitoring" Canada for signs of interference in the American midterms. Across the country, Canadians had the same reaction: we're being *watched*? Us?
It is the most flattering thing Washington has said about Canadian capabilities since the War of 1812, and officials in Ottawa are trying very hard not to look pleased about it.
Analysts are less sure what the monitoring team is looking for. Possible warning signs include unusually polite door-knocking in suburban Pennsylvania, Tim Hortons gift cards turning up in Michigan swing districts, and a worrying rise in people near polling stations saying "sorry" when somebody else bumps into them. One intelligence source said investigators had flagged a Facebook group called *Concerned Neighbours of Ohio* because of the extra "u."
Skeptics point out that Canada has never shown much talent for influence operations. Its most successful attempt at shaping American culture so far is persuading Hollywood that Vancouver looks like Seattle, which, to be fair, it does.
The federal government took the matter seriously, as it takes everything seriously. It struck an all-party committee to study whether Canada has the capacity to interfere in a foreign election, with sub-committees on official-language compliance and regional representation in the hypothetical interference workforce.
The committee's final report is due in the spring of 2031, which works out to two midterms and one Grey Cup rematch from now. If Canada ever does meddle in an American election, the evidence will arrive in both official languages, fully costed, five years too late.