Doug Ford Says 'Stuff Happens,' Which Is Also The Official Motto Of Every Ontario Inquiry Since 2003
Premier Doug Ford, asked whether his party allegedly dispatched people to follow a former Liberal leader to Jamaica, offered the phrase "stuff happens," then moved on to a question about highways.
The beauty of "stuff happens" is its structural perfection. It is not a denial, which could be disproven. It is not a confirmation, which could be actionable. It is a weather report about the moral universe. Rain happens. Frost heaves happen. Occasionally a person with a camera happens to be in Montego Bay at the same time as an opposition politician, buying the same sunscreen, staying at the same resort, taking notes.
The premier's genius has always been tonal rather than factual. Other leaders assemble a legal defence. Ford assembles a shrug so relaxed that pursuing the matter starts to feel like the aggressive behaviour. Reporters find themselves apologising for the follow-up question.
Queen's Park insiders note the phrase belongs to a proud Ontario tradition of accountability language that technically parses as English. See also: "we're looking into it," "that's before the courts," and the immortal "I've addressed that." None of these sentences contain information. All of them end press conferences.
The opposition has demanded a full accounting of who booked the flights, who approved the expense, and what exactly the traveller was doing at a beachfront buffet with a long lens.
Government sources have confirmed the review will be thorough, independent, and released at a date to be determined, ideally in the second week of a long weekend in July.
Stuff, as they say, will happen.