NATO Summit Ends in Group Photo Everyone Agrees to Never Speak Of Again
The NATO summit wrapped Wednesday with what officials described as a "positive note," which in diplomatic circles is code for "nobody flipped the table." Donald Trump left the alliance united on paper and uncertain in practice, a phrase CBC used with the weary tone of a parent describing a family reunion that ended without visible bruising.
Trump then flew partway home from Turkey in an older Air Force One, apparently because the newer one was busy. Aides insisted the swap was routine. The plane, for its part, declined to comment, though it did emit a small mechanical sigh over Newfoundland airspace.
Canadian officials watched the proceedings with the particular anxiety of a country that shares 8,891 kilometres of border with the mood swings in question. Prime Minister Carney reportedly issued a statement praising "alliance cohesion," a term he used seven times in four paragraphs, the diplomatic equivalent of whistling past a graveyard.
The communiqué committed all 32 members to defence spending targets, mutual support, and, in a new clause, agreeing that whatever happened in the bilateral with Zelenskyy simply happened and needs no further examination. Brussels sources say the phrase "positive note" will be retired from the NATO style guide by August, having been asked to carry more weight this summer than any two-word phrase reasonably can.
Back in Ottawa, a senior official summarized the week's outcome with admirable economy: "He came. He posted. He left. We're fine." Asked to define "fine," the official excused themselves to take a call that was not ringing.