Carney Discovers 24 Sussex Is Also a Fixer-Upper, Just Like the Country
Prime Minister Mark Carney has finally toured 24 Sussex Drive, the official residence that has been uninhabitable since roughly the Chrétien years, and emerged with the haunted expression of a man who has just been quoted a number by a contractor.
The house, which has been mothballed since 2015, is reportedly missing functional plumbing, modern wiring, and any plausible budget under nine figures. Carney, a former central banker accustomed to abstract sums, is said to have asked whether the asbestos could be reclassified as a heritage feature.
Options on the table include full demolition, partial restoration, or the traditional Canadian approach of forming a committee and revisiting the matter in 2034. One aide suggested simply listing it on the market as a charming Ottawa character home with river views and original 1950s insulation.
Meanwhile, Alberta insists its pipeline proposal remains on track for a July 1 deadline, which is a sentence Albertans have now said about six different pipelines across three decades. Premier Smith maintains the project is progressing nicely, pending federal approval, Indigenous consultation, environmental review, market conditions, and someone actually agreeing to build it.
The symmetry is almost touching. The Prime Minister cannot get one house renovated. The province cannot get one tube installed in the ground. Somewhere, a Jesuit accountant who allegedly skimmed $8.8 million over several decades is quietly noting that at least he finished his project on time.