Carney Unveils AI Strategy, Promises Algorithm Will Be Politely Sorry
Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Canada's national AI strategy today, a document so carefully balanced it manages to be simultaneously ambitious, cautious, innovative, and apologetic. Officials described the plan as world-leading, while declining to say which world.
The centrepiece is a network of supersized data centres, with one province quietly emerging as the epicentre because it has cheap power, cold air, and a premier who will sign almost anything placed in front of a camera. Each facility will reportedly consume the electricity of a mid-sized town and the water of a slightly larger one, in exchange for the privilege of hosting chatbots that help Americans write breakup texts.
The strategy also includes guardrails against deepfakes, a topic made newly urgent by a Canadian woman currently filing for divorce after her husband became the subject of an AI deepfake investigation. Her lawyer, presumably, is billing in real pixels.
Carney emphasized that Canadian AI will reflect Canadian values, meaning it will hedge, defer to committee, and end every recommendation with the phrase "depending on provincial jurisdiction." Asked whether the technology might eventually replace the federal cabinet, the Prime Minister paused for what observers described as a suspiciously long time before answering.
The Council of Canadian Innovators welcomed the announcement. The Council of Canadians Who Still Cannot Get Rural Internet was not available for comment, having timed out.