Trump Calls Canada the 51st State, Carney Calls It a Tuesday
U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra confirmed this week that the prospect of Canada becoming the 51st state remains "a great discussion" between President Trump and Prime Minister Mark Carney, a sentence that has now been uttered so often it has lost all nutritional value.
Sources close to the Prime Minister's Office say Carney has developed a coping ritual. He nods, writes the word "sovereignty" on a sticky note, and slides it across the table. Trump reportedly thinks it is a tip.
The trolling arrives as Washington prepares fresh tariffs targeting "forced labour" goods from dozens of countries, including Canada, a designation Ottawa finds curious given that the only Canadians being forced to do anything lately are Ontario high school students still trying to finish their e-learning credit.
Hoekstra, asked whether annexation talk undermines trade negotiations, said the two leaders enjoy a "warm rapport." Officials clarified this means Trump sends Carney photos of maps with Canada coloured in, and Carney responds with a thumbs up emoji and a 38-page memo on supply-managed dairy.
The Prime Minister, a former central banker, is said to favour a strategy of polite exhaustion. Aides describe it as "running out the clock on a man who has already run out the clock on himself."
Asked for comment, one senior Liberal staffer offered only this: "He keeps saying 51st state. We keep saying no. This is the relationship now. It's like a podcast nobody asked for, except it controls our economy."